Federline angrily challenges cleric who wants to behead Britney

LOS ANGELES, UNITED STATES: A week after fundamentalist terror group leader, Muhammad Abdel-Al said it would be an honour to be the first one to cut off the head of Britney Spears, her ex-husband Kevin Federline issued a statement today saying Mr Abdel-Al would 'have to get passed me first.'

Speculation that this seemly chivalrous display was a showing sign that Mr Federline still cared for Britney, by putting himself between her and the religious axe-man, were soon dispelled when he brandished a hack-saw in anger and shouted, 'Join the back of the queue, Muhammad. And wait your turn like everybody else.'