Get Britney away from her crazy friends
Friends of Celebrities
The first agency supplying grounded friends to celebrities
Monday 17th September 2007
http://www.friendsofcelebrities.com
X-Factor and American Idol mogul, Simon Cowell said that despite Britney’s career defying performance at the VMA’s, the popstress ‘has still got it’ and can still ‘turn it around’. But what is his advice? Basically it was for the Toxic star to get in touch with the Friends of Celebrities and that she should ‘get away from her stupid friends’.
Meanwhile when Britney saw a video of herself and she stated that she ‘looked like a pig.’ They’re sooo vain, aren’t they, celebrities? I’d say that was a very generous description of her disaster performance. She will apparently be apologising at the Emmy’s on Sunday. Let’s hope it’s not with a song.
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Relationships on:
Toby Maguire + Jennifer Meyer (married)
P Diddy + Kim Porter
Britney Spears + Criss Angel
Cameron Diaz + Jude Law + John Meyer
Relationship off:
Heath Ledger + Michelle Williams
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Star in a spot of bother
A top coming of age actor was keen to shake off his nerdy image by offering anyone and everyone cocaine at an after-show party. That was until his mum made a surprise entrance. The guests then took every opportunity to make cocaine in-jokes when the stars ma was present. It would be fair to say it didn’t do his coke-induced paranoia any favours. He was a nervous wreck all night!
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Bottom Facials
La-la land’s latest craze is to have a lovely exfoliating face massage – on your ar*e. I suppose it’s designed to stop you looking sh*t.
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Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz posted every Monday. But get it early by clicking here…
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This Weeks Top Celebrity Searches:
1. Britney Spears
2. Tom Cruise
3. Jessica Alba
4. Jennifer Lopez
5. Eddie Murphy
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Madonna and Britney on Hitlist
A fundamentalist terror group in the Gaza Strip have got a bee in their bonnet with celebrities, specifically Madonna and Britney Spears. Leader Mohammad Abdel-Al stated in a book that: ‘If I meet those whores, I will have the honour to be the first one to cut the heads of Madonna and Britney Spears.’ I reckon he is just upset because he can’t get any tickets for their shows.
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How’s the food Ramsey?
Gordon Ramsey’s brother has been jailed in Bali for possession of Heroin. That will be ten months of Hell’s kitchen for him then. The timing is a real shame because it comes as Gordon Ramsey closes his Mayfair restaurant called ‘Angela Hartnett’ because he doesn’t want his food offered for room service.
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NEXT WEEKS NEWS:
Shock story! Kevin Federline challenges terror group to be first to behead Britney Click here for full story and archives…
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High School Musical Nude Picture (update)
There is a rumour of a video tape to go with those nude photographs.
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Prepare to be poked???
Couldn’t figure out Facebook, but will do soon. However, you can now find me on MySpace and be my friend! Pleeeease.
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Kid Rock Vs. Tommy Lee
Kid Rock stated that the best thing he ever did was divorce Pamela, which puts a positive spin on the fact that it means marrying Pamela Anderson was his biggest mistake. However, Tommy Lee has since announced that he is splitting from his band Motley Crue.
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Johnny Cash pardoned
Bad boy Johnny Cash has been pardoned by police from stealing flowers from someone’s garden and spending a night in jail as a sign of respect. A bit disrespectful to wait till he’s been buried twelve months before doing so.
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Sienna Miller shoves a pap outside Groucho Club, London.
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Sting, surely you don’t have to put on the red light
Just what was Sting doing, coming out of famous Hamburg Brothel, Relax Bordello? Although his publicist was un-available for comment, I am positive that the positive spin put on this will be the old classic – researching for a film. Watch this space.
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Posh Spice was reported seen wearing the same dress for twelve whole hours last week. Has her shopping allowance been slashed since her husband has been off work sick? (Like she ever pays for any of those clothes!)
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Tarantino gets saucy with Blair’s wife
Quentin was telling everyone, including on a live chat show, how he was invited by ex-British Prime Minister Tony Blair’s wife, Cherie, to her hotel room. She wanted a photo, taken in her bedroom, with the director, and even suggested that if anything ‘should happen’ it would serve her husband right for leaving her alone. We hope she was joking, for Quentin’s sake!
Please email your stories and tips for the website at john@friendsofcelebrities.com
Thanks for signing up and please tell your friends about us. And thank you to the couple of people we contacted in the week. We hope you had a great time.
John
Founder of Friends of Celebrities
1 Comments:
Leave Britney alone!!!!!!!
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