Sunday, 21 October 2007

This weeks fantastic newsletter...


Click here for the full insatiable truth of this weeks news. If you didn't get it in your inbox it's because you haven't signed up here. So do it now!!!

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Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Britney passes drugs test


Good news for Britney. Well, as good as it gets these days. She has passed her first random drugs test, ordered by the judge in her custody battle. She also has applied for a job as a bramaid at the fashionable Viceroy Hotel. Hang on, she doesn't need a job!

That must be one of the un-predictable behaviours that means her estranged father thinks it is right to get lawyers to find a way of forcing Britney to go to rehab. Helpful? What I reckon is a nice steady job in a local hotel would do Britney the world of good. Problem is that her superstardom means she can't do that. I'm sure she'll work it out without anyone wading in for their fifteen minutes of fame.

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Thursday, 4 October 2007

Celebrity Warning Signs - Cameras, slow down.


Apologies for yet another celebrity warning sign and another Britney post. But its too easy. Plus it should be a warning to all celebrities. Don't film yourself having sex!

It may fell like a good idea at the time, but from Eva Longoria to Pamela Anderson to Paris to...er...Britney Spears before, experience tells us they always come out. Especially, when it's a one night stand. And so it seems another Britney sex tape will soon be available under the counter of a dodgy video shop near you.

Also, Britney failed to turn up for court again after losing custody of her kids, leaving her lawyer to weasel out her excuses and explain why she's a reliable mother, while all the evidence is to the contrary. K-Fed however was praised by the judge as he turned up in a suit. That's all it took - a suit (and an eye patch?) What a creep. Yes. But a clever creep.

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Wednesday, 3 October 2007

Celebrity Warning Signs


It never seems to be good news with Britney these days. As you know she lost custody of her two children. Are we suprised? She has to learn that the whole world knows what she is doing, let alone the judge who had her future relationship with her children in his hands.

So when she's told she can't consume alcohol 12 hours before seeing her children, she can't get sloshed at a nightclub and think that no one will find out. (That was one reason the judge gave for denying her custody.)

And when she was told not to drive with the kids without a proper licence, paparrazzi are going to take photos and if the judge don't see them himself in Hello! mag then K-Fed's lawyer is sure to lend him a copy. (The second reason).

Plus she couldn't be bothered to sign some documents the judge ordered her to, despite the fact she was given a tip off to 'jump through hoops' in order to win custody (the third reason).

Britneys family are reported to be worried the star will kill herself, although she has been carrying on as normal and has an album out in 6 weeks. We hope that goes well for her, she could do with some good news.

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Thursday, 20 September 2007

Stay at home, Mom


It's the one week when you'd think Britney had the common sense to stay in and look after her kids. But hours after being told by a judge she should see a psychiatrist, she prooved what a good Mom she is by hitting her two favourite Hollywood nightspots. K-Fed may be an idiot, but even he has the intelligence to have an early night when the future of his relationship with his children are at stake.

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Wednesday, 19 September 2007

Britney Spears Custody Battle Update Exposed - Too


It's been another busy day for the courts and Britney Spears:

She has been ordered to random twice weekly alcohol and drug tests.

The judge ordered both Brit and K-Fed to not physically discipline their children and to stop others from doing so.

Britney must take eight hours of parenting classes every week.

Both parents are banned from consuming drink or drugs for 12 hours before having custody of the kids.

However, as a Friend of Celebrities I say that these measures are good for both parents and the kids. They are getting a helping hand where most people around them are just out for the take. I hope they follow the court's advice. However, what is worrying is OK! magazine claims they have a source who states Britney has an eating disorder, binging and purging herself to loose weight. They also claim she is addicted to dieting pills and washes them down with coffee and redbull. Although those are not confirmed. Let's hope not.

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Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Britney Spears Custody Battle Exposed


Just a heads up at what's happening as it was a busy day for Britney yesterday:

Britney's lawyer has dropped her because she is a "problem client"

K-Fed was originally wanting custody of the kids for two thirds of the time. He now wants more.

Britney's ex-bodyguard will testify in the court case that Britney took drugs in front of her children and walked around naked in front of the children. (Not sure why that naked bit is such a crime?)

The FBI has denied that they are investigating a contract out on Kevin Federlines life.

Britney has lost full custody of her children, but only temporarily.

Britney Spears has been dropped by her new manager. Due to her erratic behaviour.

So Britney will be needing all the friends she can muster. So tell everyone you know to sign up for Friends of Celebrities. Pleeeeeeeease.

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Thursday, 30 August 2007

Britneys Bum


Click here to see Britney's bum straining out of her shorts. Not pretty. The photos were captured as she was shopping and getting a parking ticket at the same time. Earlier she had to be pushed by four policemen after her car ran out of petrol. Can't this girl get anything right?

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Thursday, 23 August 2007

Britney coming to London. Yes!


The rumours are rife that Britney is considering taking the kids and moving to London. Probably in the vain hope that it will solve her problems. No, but a chat with the Friends of Celebrities will help sort you out. So, get in contact Britney! We love you. But make sure you get permission to bring the kids here first. Don't just run over here in the middle of your custody battle.

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Sunday, 19 August 2007

Britney to lose kids

According to the News of the Screws Britney is in dire trouble. No shit, Sherlock?! But it does then do a good job of describing Britneys 'LESBIAN bed-hopping' and 'BOOZING and relentless partying' and 'TERRIBLE mothering skills as she treats her boys like toys'.

Oh and in case you didn't see her home page, she didn't get the part in the film where she was gonna play a pysho umbrella strangler after all. Shame, she would have been perfect.

Meanwhile Kevins priority is the money...ooops...I mean...the kids.

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Thursday, 16 August 2007

Another person 'preparing for a role'



Following my post about britney blaming her umbrella rage on an un-coming, un-named film role. Here's another person who used the same excuse. Convicted child pornography pervert Chris Langham. "Ooooh officer, those kiddy pictures on my computer is just reseach. It's just very, very thourough latenight, everyday when the wife's away, for the past 10 years, research. Honest!"

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This weeks top searches



This is who the world has been searching for this week:

1 britney spears
2 jennifer lopez
3 jessica alba
4 tom cruise
5 jessica simpson

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Tuesday, 14 August 2007

Britneys worst excuse ever



Friends, this girl needs help. (And a new PR person who actually makes the effort). This is as laughable use of the 'I was preparing for a role' dodge ever, currently on her website. I attacked the guys car with an umbrella 'cos I was preparing for a role. I cut my hair off because I was preparing for a role. I treat my kids bad because I'm preparing for a role where I play an annoying, spoilt, trailor park trash whore. What was this film anyway? The Life of Britney Spears?

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