Next Week's News...

CALIFORNIA, UNITED STATES: After taking into condsideration time in court, processing applications, filling out forms, cell time, sobering up and having alcohol monitors installed, Lindsay Lohans jail term of 24 hours has been reduced by so much that the courts OWE HER time.

After Nicole Richie only served 82 minutes of her 4 day sentence, Lindasy Lohans 24 hour term was reduced by the same amount. Meaning the court OWES HER 3 DAYS. Judge Morgan, who will serve the time back, will help mend the wheels on her Mercedes, which were damaged when she mounted the pavement, and hoovering up the cocaine that spilled on the sports car's floor as she crashed.

Meet a celebrity in the UK

Click here for a list of events where you can meet famous people, and famous people to be, at an HMV in your area

Or click here for other big events worth checking out for a celebrity spot or chat.

Amy Wino Watch

It's been a busy two weeks. Since launching online we have had a fantastic response, all over the world. We hope that a celebrity will require your services very soon. But in the mean time I thought I'd let your know where Amy Winehouse spends most of her drinking time: The Hawley Arms in London.

Read what the pub says about itself here.

Read what nice website beerintheevening says about the pub here. 6.4 out of 10 isn't bad at all.

Happy hunting!

NEW Celebrity Warning Sign!

We've seen it all before. It means OUT OF CONTROL. Watch out for it in your Celebrities. Once we identify it, then we can help. Just like all good Friens of Celebrities should do.

Cokey and Dopey Back together?

Please say it isn't so. And although this blog seems to be turning into The Pete Dog-herty show, this article in the Daily Mail is worth a mention. Secret Trysts occouring between these two at Claridges fancy hotel? It doesn't make sense. Especially after the other stories. I smell a rat. And I reckon that rat is Pete. I think he has sold his 'story' because all the details have either come from him, Kate (not likely) or hotel staff eavesdropping (not likely either). Or rather his version of what he wants to be true. I hope I'm right.

NEW Celebrity Warning Sign!

Heres a new sign for the less than attractive lady. MOOSE. Could be used for the celebrity voguing the 'bulldog chewing a wasp' look or the 'mutton dressed as lamb' pose. Either way it is a sure fire sign that this star needs one of the Friends of Celebrities.

Hilarious pictures

Look at these hilarious pictures of male celebrities as women. It's a bit like the Screwed Up Celebrity Quiz but even more freaky. Click past the adult content, I'm not sure why they have it because all the images are work friendly, apart from the odd bikini. Meow! Enjoy!

Celebrity Warning Signs!

All Friends of Celebrities should know these warning signs, so that when they happen we can all be quick to help out. Keep your eyes and ears open people. And the more people we have the more effective we can be, so get your friends to sign up now.

Free Posters!

Hello fellow Friends of Celebrities. As a thankyou to you all, I've made some funny posters for your office, bedroom or art gallery. Just click on the links below and they will appear in a new window. Print them off and stick them on your wall to be the envy of all your friends!

Click here for "Lost"

Click here for "Breakdown"

Click here for "Love"

If you can't see them, don't worry, they are there, just a really big A4 size. Just right click (or control click for mac users) anywhere on the page and select download image. Then print out as many as you like. OR print using the browser print button.

This weeks top searches

This is who the world has been searching for this week:

1 britney spears
2 jennifer lopez
3 jessica alba
4 tom cruise
5 jessica simpson

Britneys worst excuse ever

Friends, this girl needs help. (And a new PR person who actually makes the effort). This is as laughable use of the 'I was preparing for a role' dodge ever, currently on her website. I attacked the guys car with an umbrella 'cos I was preparing for a role. I cut my hair off because I was preparing for a role. I treat my kids bad because I'm preparing for a role where I play an annoying, spoilt, trailor park trash whore. What was this film anyway? The Life of Britney Spears?

She says, 'Yes, yes, yes'.

According to the Mirror, Amy Winehouse was told by her family to go to rehab, and has now, finally agreed. Read the story here.

Next week’s news

HOOK, ENGLAND: According an official statement today, Amy Winehouse admitted that it was her hair, and not herself, that was addicted to heroin and ecstasy induced booze benders. In a heartfelt interview she broke down when talking about her wildly out of control hair, which had led a bad example to her, the people around her and anybody with hair. Pictured here with ex-heroin addicted hair Russell Brand, she vowed to keep her hair on the straight and narrow in the future: by buying straightening tongs. ☺

Lindsay Lohan 'sexy' video

Urgh! It's not sexy, its not that good. It's from Lazy Lohans new film 'I know who killed me'. The answer probably being: Myself. I'm lazy lohan and I killed myself driving while high on coke. And I killed my career myself too, by making rubbish films like this. Enjoy! (If thats the right word)